This One's Dedicated to my Big (little) Sister, Mary Anne!!

Ever since I was born, I have had an older sister.

I know, it sounds silly doesn't it? Of course if my sister was already alive, then I've always had an older sister. The point is, I've never known life without her. So, imagine the response I had when my mom and dad called me a few months ago and told me that my sister had breast cancer. My first response in my mind was "How bad is it?", or "How long does she have?", and those questions are probably similar to what most people think when they hear those dreaded words.

My best friend growing up, Jason Bybee, sat at the feet of cancer and felt its tightening grip around the life of his mother and his father. Both passed away before he was ever married, had kids, or even graduated from high school. I was so confused at that time, wondering why his life had been touched by cancer, but my life hadn't been.

So, to hear that my sister had cancer, sent me into a world of emotions I had never felt before. My father had been diagnosed with some skin cancers on his back and shoulder, but those were simply cut out, and he continues to live a normal life. He didn't have to suffer through chemo, surgery, or anything of the sort. When my sister was diagnosed, this was a lot more "real".

Its never easy to hear bad news. I remember about 3 years ago when my mother called me and told me that brother was in the hospital after suffering a heart attack, at the age of 36. We rushed to the hospital to visit with him, and sit with during his open heart surgery.

And the same thing happened when my sister had her surgery. Money was not an object at all. We bought the plane tickets, and combined some time at home with Josie's birthday party. I wanted to be my her side, to let her know that I loved her and was going to do my little part to get her through this.

Since then, I've thought about all the times we've had together. I remember when I was very little, maybe three or four years old, she would play with me. We would do concerts while singing along to our "Disney Sing Along" records in my room. I remember as we got older, how she would play with her Barbie dolls and Strawberry Shortcake dolls, and I had my G.I. Joe men and my A-Team action figures, and we would an imaginary world for them to play in.

As we got even older, I traveled to every single one of her high school chorus performances from 9-12 grade. I watched her in the plays she was in. She was so good to try to include me in as much as she could. Her friends were my friends as well.

When she left to go to college, I remember getting in the old Dodge Caravan and driving down to Freed Hardeman with her. We didn't have a tape player in the van, (way before CD players), and I had brought my battery powered stereo with me. I played a Suzy Boggus song titled "Letting Go" about 4 times on the way down, getting a kick out of watching my mom and dad cry, and my sister sobbing. She always loved being at home, and she loved us.

I also remember after we dropped her off, and we pulled away from the parking lot, I sat there and watched her walk away, and the "tough guy" inside of me went soft, and I started to cry. At that point, I realized that my big sister wasn't going to be one of my best friends anymore, because she was getting older, and a new chapter in her life and in my life began at that moment.

It has broken my heart that I can't be with my sister and see her while she is going through all of what she is enduring. It breaks my heart that she can't see the concern I have for her. Sure, I could call her and email her everyday, but that's not the same. She means the world to me, and as I've seen her attitude throughout this whole situation, it makes me so proud of her.

She is taking it all in stride. She poked fun of me on Facebook this past week, saying that she is starting to look like her younger brother Lane due to the chemo. Most women would shy away from bringing attention to themselves during a process where their hair was falling out, but not my sister. If you'll go to her blog: "A Journey of Hope and Peace" you can read her tales, and how she is keeping God even closer to her than ever. She was even brave enough to post a picture of her with a cleanly shaven head, which in, sadly, she still has more hair than I do.

Please continue to pray for my sister as she deals with this, and her husband Kevin, who has been a rock for her throughout this trail. Pray for Faith and John Derrick, who have to see their mother go through hurt and pain. I love you big sis, keep up the fight, and know that you are an inspiration to so many.

Lord, give my sister the strength she needs to continue going through this procedure. Please eradicate all the cancer from her body. Help her to fight this fight. Please give her a long and cancer free life from this moment on, as she gives all the glory to you in whatever goes on with her. Amen.